Is He really greater?

Is God really bigger than this? Does He see me? Does He know what is going on? Could this pain, this heartache, this grief really be part of His plan for my life? Really? 

I was reading today and came across a part of a book I love that I have read many times, but today, in light of recent news, it was different. The author is writing about how we tend to react when this world brings devastation and pain. I thought this exact thing when I received awful news yesterday, “Is it you, Jesus? You’re asking me to trust Your power, but are You even there as I see evil’s assaults on my loved ones and as I feel its taunt in my own life? Are You really greater than all of this?”

So true in my heart today. How could this happen? Where did I go wrong? What is wrong with me? Are You really the strong shield and defender I have always been told You are? If you are my Defender, why can’t you stop this? 

Are You greater than this pain? 

But, deep in the recesses of my heart, I know God is greater than this. I know He planned this, I know He is in control of it. And, in this time, I know that my situation can bring my earthly life harm, but it cannot have my soul. That I find Him in the place where I am at my end, I find Him when I cannot see anything else. 

So, even though it feels like He is not greater, I know that He is. 

Even though it totally sucks.

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