My heart forgot…

As I prepare to walk down the aisle next week and marry Collin, I find myself forgetting God’s faithfulness and listening to lies. I needed to read this again, and remember.

Kacy Davis

I have been listening to this song on repeat today. I do that sometimes, when I am struggling or anxious, or when I just need a reminder of truth.

Anxiety is eating me alive today. It has been for a few days now. Things are so different now. I don’t see my small group as much, I work longer hours, I am not living with my sister anymore.

And then there’s the boy.

He’s wonderful. He’s kind, and fun, and smart, and we had our first dance party yesterday. It’s good.

So, naturally, I fret.

Because, heaven knows, I cannot get through a day without a lie or two (or 651) making it’s way in. Especially in times of change or transition. These days the lies revolve around  being left, being helpless, loving someone and being made a fool.

I tell myself “We have nothing in common”, I tell myself…

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On Sunday we had a wedding shower. It was our second, and not last, shower before our wedding. My mom’s good friend, Joann, was the hostess, and it was a shower full of women who have poured into my life in ways that cannot accurately be expressed. The shower started with snacks and chit-chat, and then Joann had everyone go around and share how they were related to the bride and groom.

And I sat there taking in the sight of twenty some odd women talking about me. I sat there and I saw each woman and knew they had prayed for me and Collin at some point in our lives. I sat there and saw women who kept me as a child, taught me how to do long division, read me stories, and loved me. I watched women who prayed for me when I was dying from anorexia, when I was in treatment, when my heart was broken, when I had to pick up the pieces. These women saw it all. They lived it all with me, some closer than others, but they all saw the valleys I walked through and have witnessed the faithfulness of the Lord in His restoration.

And they get to witness it. They will be present on June 21st, as Collin and I become husband and wife. But more than that, they get to see and celebrate God’s redemption and grace in my heart and in Collin and my life together. And what a thing to celebrate.

I am so excited to celebrate our marriage and to have the people who watched the locusts destroy get to see the restoration.

I am excited to be Mrs. Davis. To know that my new last name with forever remind me of the gifts God gives and the grace He shows.